Effort

It amazes me what a little effort can do. Recently, I have been getting very down about a certain thing, and a feeling that I do not belong there. However all it takes is sending a few text to fix the problem. They know just what to say to make me feel welcome there! I am so grateful I get to be part of something like this!!

Every time

I only blog when I get upset, so tonight I sit here. Upset.

Not too sure why. I knew, just knew, I would get to involved and end up here.

I tried really hard not to let this happen, and by not letting it happen, I got here. Where I would have been either way.

Well yeah... everything happens for a reason.

What does not kill you, is what makes you strong!

Sometimes...

I am a HUGE believer that everything happens for a reason, and when I mean everything I truly mean it.

I had a bit of a rough week with my grades, but I am going to study super hard to fix those.

But that is not the only reason why this week was tough.

I am not going to sit here and write about it, because I do not want pity about it, I write today for my own good.

I do not have the friends or family around me that I use to.. this is about the only thing that seems like home! I just write away and for some reason everything seems to be better.

writing is my escape from everything, letting me and my crazy self be.

I'll will be back later, but that is all for right now.

And I will leave with, everything happens for a reason. No matter how big or how small, there was a reason for it.

not again.

What have I gotten myself into this time.

I got all caught up in the I want to cool college life, and lost everything that I stand for.

Lord I ask for you right now, to stand up and show me the way.

On a happier note, only a few more weeks until I get to see everyone. :]

I MISS...

I wish I had time to post in this blog.. this was the only place where I could rant and range about anything, but now i feel i am just to busy.

However, I shouldn't be too busy. I do not play a sport, I am only taking 12 hours and I am involved in nothing and my grades still suck.. what is my life coming to.

lord please come back and lead me in the right direction, I am lost without you.

monday..

Its back to square one.. or maybe 2.5

Its back to many long drives

Its back to many child-filled waiting rooms.

Its back to yelling at the IC.

Its back to where I thought I left

.......................

smile.

That facebook photo album never fails to make me smile.

There is not a sad face in a photo, Everyone is just enjoying life. We are all so happy, just happy to be.

And that is what I love the most. Around them, life is free, be who you are. There is no judging.

As I sit here and think, I have decided I will miss this gym class the most at central. I can text my friends, email my teachers, and facebook everyone else. But these kids do not have a twitter and a cell phone.. All they have is us.

This is not a gym class to me, its a family.

But a family with no problems, just laughing

145 everyday is my safe haven.. not sure what I am going to do without each and everyone of you.

I missed it..................

really.

Did everything really work its self out.

I think it did.. so excited for the next 3 months.

words do not do justice!

Please

Dear lord,

I pray to you that things do not turn out this way.

These people have done nothing wrong, all they did was try.

What is happening is not fair, I don't want to see things turn out this way.

Please lord, I ask of you to make this best of this, for everyone.

-Lindsey

ps. 100th post =)

enough..

Enough already....

I have done my time for a crime I did not even commit.

What will is take for all this to go away?

4.

not one, not two, not three, BUT FOUR!!!

I' m so screweeddd... this sucksss!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MM

To my Mighty Moose!!!

I could sit here and write about how much you mean to me.. but you already know that!

So here is my encouragement for you!

Do not throw in the towel.. always keep fighting and never give up.

Yeah yeah... that BS line "things happen for a reason" say whatever to that we are going to defy that, prove it wrong!

You have worked so hard and you do not deserve this.

I fight like hell everyday, just to make it though the day; and now I see you fighting that, and I am so proud of you for that!

Keep working hard because.. "if you're not fighting, what's their worth living for"

Random fact of the day..

Today I realized that recently I have only been blogging about things that make me sad, or worry me, or up set. Yet they have never been about girls that have been with me from day one. Well ok only two of them have been with me from day one, and the rest from the beginning of high school. They are about these random people in my life do me no good.. so take the hit when I refuse to talk to you. This is more so just directed at you.. MFCB.......

Any way.. that was the random fact for the day!!!!

the constant "thing"

The constant thing that you do, and the work you will not accept.

I can not put it any simpler than i am saying.. yet you refuse to understand.

I can kind of sorta see your point of view.. but honestly think of mine. that is not who am i.

You have know me for a long time no. and try to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

Its not me. so please just listen to me for once.

I try and be nice, because I try to be nice to everyone, and I dont have it in me to bitch you out, but honestly. So please take a break,

On the other hand,

All I do is listen to you, you, and you..... the list goes on.

But do you ever really listen to me.

Do you ever think about what I say or for the matter of fact what anyone says but your self.

You(collectively) know I listen when you talk and I remember the rude/funny/ dumb ass shit you say, but do you ever take the time? If you do not that is fine,I wont be mad or upset or a bitch about it, just tell me so I can get you out of my life?

And this refers especially to ***** and ****.

lost.

Just one thing today...

I Can't believe you are gone. You were the world to me.

I did everything for you, but you did nothing wrong things just came to an end.

I will miss you ever so much and I can never repay everything you did to me.

I loved it and I can not find words to describe. I cried about it yesterday and today and I will tomorrow.

I can not express how you have changed my life and I hope I can continue in some other way.

I refuse to say goodbye because I don't want you to leave.

I am not sure what I am suppose to do everyday without you.

I miss you already.

Quotes.

Well today, after my massive sugar crash, I came home to a HUGE cookies cake from my aunt. those are absolutely my favorite. Cookies and frosting in the same places who could ask for more... so after eating my feeling in that I decided to venture into my daily stalking of things and found nothing to exciting. So I decided to clean out my computer, after five minutes of that I found myself reading all the saved quotes on my computer. Next, I was on the internet searching for more fancy quotes to explain my life. and might I add I found some awesome ones! So after productivity wasting three and a half hours, its time for the bachelor!

Happy Valentine's Day!

you make me smile..

I love being with people that can make me smile.
Recently, I have found so many of them and that makes me smile!

i hope....

I hope for countless things every do.. but right now I need to get one off my chest.

I hope this is my final goodbye to you.
I hope I never lie to you again.
I hope you understand.
I hope you see everything you have done.
I hope you see the positive influence you had on me.
But i also hope you see how you destroyed me,

On the inside.

I hope we can be friends.

I hope you are not upset with me

I hope you find, what you are looking for because that was not me.

But most of all, I hope you see what you are doing.

Day in and day out... i hope you realize you are wrong.

I hope this is my final goodbye..

but I hope I say hello again.

i hope you can forgive me for this, because I am sorry.

No matter what, I will hope.

=(

ohhhhh shit.

this would happen today.

what should have been a good monday,

happened to top the list of worst mondays I have EVER had.

Second Semester

Well, just to join in with every else, I am going to blog about second semester.

And to be honest there is not one part about me that is excited. Not even an ounce. I do not want to think about the future, starting all over again, growing up over night. That is not just me. I need another year or two of where am I. I am so happy. Yeah school is hard, family things can suck sometimes, and my health me be a downward spiral going very fast, but I guess that stuff has made me what I am today, happy ( in a weird way). So back to being scared, because that is all i am. Why try to fix something if it is not broken? I do not know what to do. I am not a dweller, but I will over think this tonight. But tomorrow I will move on.

I need to come up with a bucket list for things to do.

Well, that is all the ranting I have in me for today.

This will not be the end of me.

I will not let any of this be the end of me.

I will not let you or you or this or that take me down.

I am and always will be a fighter.

I will fight to the end here, but the end is nearing so. And i am not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

But today I had the realization that everything happens for a reason, so if I happen to lose this battle, I will not give up.

Because, is it worth living if you are not fighting?

This I believe...

I must write an essay on that for english.... And I wish I could be truthful. However my grade depends on it, and I truly cannot explain the things I am most passionate about. So I will sit at my state at some okay paper. I do believe what I write about, but I wish I could love it. However because my writing skills are just sub-par, I must bite the bullet and write about a good experience. Once I get started I will like it, but I cannot find a topic to write my final paper.

My last day of break.

As I sat watching my favorite team...the bears of course. I sit here and think about how this is my last day of winter break. I must say it was fun, but not long enough. I just need one more week to completely recharge. But that is not happening, so I will sit here today and do nothing. I am not going to change out of my PJ's. I am just going to relax today, I will do a bit of homework here and there. However I am not going to stress out. School is my life, but I am not going to let it get to me right now! Tomorrow I will start again, but today is my day. I will sit in my Pj's and watch football, and I will have myself a great day.