double life

I feel i am living a double life.
part of me has just returned from a life changing trip. i learned so much i cant give it words
and then there is part of me that is super stressed out.
this part of me can not decide on ONE SINGLE THING. even what button to click on the college app.
This part of me is scared and stressed and uptight and weird and not being the normal Lindsey Mackey
I freak out about the little things that do not matter, i yell at my friends for no reason. i am just plain old mean
and the even more scary thing about this is i have another 4 month of this. STRESS.
And then the part of me just being the crazy old me.
but i feel that does not even exist. i am obsessing over things i should not.
i am over looking this one thing. well there are two.. i guess?
and this is something i should not even worry about. i should just live it out. yet i am making a huge deal about it,
but maybe this is god saying something by me making a huge deal about it.
i dont know.
i just need to see my guidance councilor at school.. i think she can make all my stress go away.
she knows everything about schools. and that is all the help i need.. i think..
or maybe i need THAT friend. the one who................