CHICAGO BEARS!!!

Today, I went to the Bears game!
We have awesome seats at the 20 yard line 9th on the first level!
You can't ask for much more then that... but other then that THEY WON!!!
The bears were not suppose to win, but the pulled it out and made it look easy!
They beat a very good team, with a good quarterback. But he is a bad person. I do not like Vick!
Anyways, they won!!!!!!

One Step

TODAY I GOT THE NEWS THAT I AM ONE STEP CLOSER TO FINDING OUT MY DREAM!!
I MADE EARLY ACTION! AND THAT IS PROGRESS! I AM GETTING CLOSE TO FINDING OUT
THIS DECEMBER IS GOING TO BE AWESOME OR AWEFUL... AND NO MIDDLE.
I HOPE THIS WORKS OUT.. IT WILL BE THE BEST DAY EVERE *100!!!!

well, other then the fact that I have a test tomorrow and NOTHING done about it, and i failed two other test this week... oh well!!!!

You are rude in hidden ways. Yet you have not a clue what you do.
And yet I sit around and take all of the BS
Whatever. It's fine.

one thing

So tonight after another weird conversation, I can to a realization.
I need to make a choice
Continue to talk with you and see what happens or be completely done.
It has been way to long now, you have been on my mind to much and I need to do something about it.
My friends are done with it, so I know I need to decided what to do.
I don't know i will miss it, but you do not know until you try.
At this point it is just getting annoying and I know that, but part of me like thats.
I have no reason to continue to, but some how i always mange to justify it.
I know this is getting redundant, I am even getting annoyed with it.
So somethings needs to be done about this, but I cannot make a decision.

Hmm.

hmm,
What to do
What to do
Thinking thinking
i just don't know what to do.

coming to a close.

Today I had my last outdoor soccer game, at the hawks fields.
I have been playing there for 8ish year, and I have loved every minute of it. Everyone girl and every coach.
Yes I may have be frustrated at time, but never enough to get me down!
I have absolutely loved it!
Many girls have come and gone, but I have loved everyone of them and I have loved playing soccer.
Soccer is part of what defines me, it is what I enjoy, everyone working together and just being a team.
Soccer is my little escape from every thing, a whole group of girls that I can always talk to.
Its sad to think that was my last game there, but it does not feel like the end.
We still have indoor to play and a trip to vegas!
So it is not the end of us, just the end of a location.
I will miss it dearly, but i hope to continue playing the sport I love most!

always make me smile.

Every year I do this is makes me smile!
Helping her decorate at the Ronald McDonald House.
This has been something we have been doing your years, and two days out of there year we come in and take over that place.
Yes, there are still people living there, but if they are not helping they not to get out of the way.
In a matter of hours we transform the place into a christmas wonderland.
Putting up 5 smaller tress (like 8 ft) and one MASSIVE tree, but lets not forget the garland and all the extra christmas stuff we put all over the house. The people who are staying there, absolutely adore this. Some help decorate, because they know they will not decorate there house, and other just admire because it makes them feel a bit more at home.
This year, as i was decorating a tree, two little boys staying there came over and offered to help me. This was the perfect tree for them because it was full of key chains, so they could not break them. These two little boy had a blast, putting 5 key changes all in the same place, but I did not touch them. This was a tree for their house and that is how they wanted it to look.
Yes, this is a bitter sweet moment. There is not a very high moral in the place, because everyone staying there has a sick child. But, when we are there everyone seems to smile.
Well, I hope they enjoy the decorating, because I had so much put putting it up!
Well for me, its off the out door soccer; with a ton of homework yet to start!

FUCK`

FUCK FUCK I HATE THIS.
This is not fair.

frustrated.

Recently, i have been so frustrated.
Yes I did pull through on my quarter grades! thank god( literally).
But I just seem at a major loss.
I dont know what it is but I really can not handle any of this anymore.
One day soon I am going to snap on someone, cry to someone, yell at someone and befriend someone.

I just don't know what it is, but i am just done with it. and i do not know what it is either.
School is stressing me out, but that is normal.
My friends are AWESOME. so that is never the problem.
I just don't know what that something is but it is putting in a bad mood.
Ok, well now that i think about it, I know exactly what it is and there is nothing that can be done about it.
i talked with a few friends two months ago, i CRIED my eyes out to ***** on the23rd, and that did not seem to help.
They are temporary fixes. Help me make in through the week and through the treatment. But I always end up back in the funk of being pissed off, but not showing it. So the other day I was sitting in class and these two boys i sit in front of asked me what was wrong with my leg. I gave them a short HARSH version. And i had NO problem telling it. All they could say was wow i am sorry, but at least you are in good sprits about it. So, i came to the realization that I can tell random people about it, cause they are not my friends I do not see and talk with them everyday they really do not care. But when it comes to my friends it took me a year to finally tell them cause they care about me, and when I talk with them it sounds more realistic then when i tell randoms. They just find it kind of interesting. I know I am ranting here, but it will help me make it though the next hour, but sure not tomorrow and not this weekend.
I am honestly lost for people to talk about this with. I feel my friends do not care anymore cause they are their own problems and do not know what to say. I do not understand how people make it though this harsh of stuff, but I also think as a teenager i only know one other person who has problems THIS serious. So maybe I can find someone to talk/cry to. cause that is about all i need right now. Yes, I do have a few people in mind, *** ***** **** ****** ********, but I think these people do not want to talk, so i have cried to these people enough. I am just at a lost here, with this mental battle I am losing.